However, I’m open to succeeding on my terms, by my definition.
How many times do we fall under the misconception the only success is that which another defines? If you don’t do as they have or as they deemed correct, then you are just _______. Simply, not worthy of…of what? Their respect? Their praise? Their acceptance?
What about your own?
If you have spent most of your life writing stories, but have never finished one, as in polished it as you know it can be, and finally have done so, isn’t that a success? If that is enough for you then it is enough. Yes, you wrote. Yes, you are a writer. Earning a living as one? No. Published? No, maybe not yet, maybe never. If a writer is only a writer having had something published, then never publishes again, are they still a writer?
Doctor. That’s the one I have heard as a counterpoint to my writer example. I have not heard someone say a person holding a Doctoral degree is not a Doctor…just different. What about Honorary doctorate? Sure, maybe not in ordinary use, but they will be referred as Dr. ____ in formal correspondence from the giver of the title.
My point is more on how we define ourselves and our accomplishments. Sure, it’s great to receive accolades from others, but it’s vital to give them to ourselves.
Vital to shine our own light. Vital to be proud and humble for and about ourselves. When you feel and know it inside it will be seen by others. And, believed.
Knowing is believing…know it yourself and others will believe you.
Maybe this is why it is difficult to accept compliments…we don’t believe we have/are it; don’t see it in ourselves, so what is the outside voice talking about. They must be pulling our leg, having one over on us.
Think on the time you did feel that compliment as real. The time you believed in yourself and felt satisfied with what you did. It wasn’t a superficial reaction. You knew it deep in your mind and heart…your soul.
That’s why failing isn’t scary. It isn’t weakness. It’s the first step up to the next and from there anywhere. How? Why? Where? The answer is in your belief in yourself. That belief is inside you, it’s just a little hard to find, maybe a bit dusty. Could even be a bit inflated. Don’t worry it will grow and change in confidence…if you feed it properly.
Mine? It’s reaching for a bit more…bit more smiles; praise; pat on the back. It’s dusting itself off and standing a little straighter. It actually wants to do more…this self-defined success feels pretty good.
Go ahead, give it a try. Yes, you will surprise yourself.