Not Giving Up or Not Giving In

Are these two wordings different in meaning? Different in attitude?

I won’t give up on my creative nature. I won’t give up on me.

I won’t give in…to my creative nature? …to my fear of my creative nature? Not giving in to giving up on it all?

Giving up is letting something go. My dad gave up smoking. I’ve given up on myself and my creativeness a few times; far more times than I like to admit. But I keep coming back…it/me haven’t given up on me. Come on, you know you’re multiple versions, too.

Giving in? Now that’s a whole other thing. We can give in to peer pressure by starting to smoke…everyone’s doing it. We can give in to any personal demon or fear and stop doing what makes us happy; makes us stronger than what our critical voice wants us to believe…what others want us to believe.

When I write out any answers to any of my journal questions, I don’t say I won’t give in; I’m giving up the negative. I’m giving up that which takes away from the person I am and want to keep becoming. It’s only taken me roughly fifty years to figure this out…okay, maybe 44 or 45, give or take a few, after all the first fourteen years of my life I didn’t even think or know about any of these troubling thoughts or feelings.

Giving in? I’m giving in to my creative nature. I’m giving in to my dreams. I’m giving in to becoming a stronger me. I’m giving in to living. I’m giving in to the future and what it brings my way.

Giving in isn’t a weakness. Giving in is, for me, telling the universe…okay, I’m ready, bring it on.

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