Hypocrisy or the day I discovered I was a hypocrite

No, this has nothing to do with USA elections or their Senate and Supreme Court.

It has everything to do with how I realized my ego was a hypocrite. I should actually say my vanity? No, it was the ego…maybe, ego?

You see, I am a firm believer in anyone can do what anyone else can do. Sure, they may have to do it differently, but that doesn’t mean they are not qualified. Okay, I can hear the argument about female firefighters can’t carry like a man can. That a female gynecologist is more understanding…yup, have heard stories that dispel that thought.

I still stand by this though and the pay should be equal, too. And, that’s an argument I’ve had with a couple of teen males who thought we were already paid equal.

Back to my moment of hypocrisy. I was in the hospital with the cancer. Going to get very personal here, maybe a tad awkward…for you, trust me, I’m well beyond any awkwardness.

I wore adult diapers. That’s my name for them. The hospital called them pants <?> dang if I haven’t forgotten that already. They were being polite and respectful. I’m blunt, besides it was my diaper. The famous “they” say you lose all sense of privacy, or was that dignity, when pregnant and giving birth, try having someone wipe your bum…yes, clean your poop.

There, let’s get the eww and awkward out of the way. It is humbling and I am forever grateful to my team of nurses and PSWs.  BTW, no one tells you that chemo not only makes you want to toss your cookies, but if it doesn’t come up and out…it will go down, through, and out. Oh, and water pills…think Niagara Falls in a blink of a thought.

Now that I have your full attention on just how much this produces and a rough idea of how often it needs taking care of, let’s get to why I embarrassed myself with hypocrisy.

Most of the time my nurses and PSWs were female. No big deal, even a few giggles…or the out and out doubled over belly laugh (first meeting with a new nurse, she comes around the curtain divide to see if current nurse needs help, image her look at me spread eagle getting cleaned up, wasn’t that an interesting – Hi, how are you, welcome to the crazy team).

Then my first day with a male nurse. A very sweet guy. Super nice guy. Until I needed something changed and then I realized he was male. Very professional and understanding guy. He told me not to worry and he’ll get one of the women nurses. Thank you.

I’m a damn hypocrite.

He trained for this. He took an oath…think nurses take oaths…to care for every person. This was his profession and I was tossing it up in his face. Well, that’s how I felt. Female nurses help male patients all the time.

When he came back later, I apologized. I did not mean to insult him. I had my own hypocrisy stare me in the eye. I knew by calling in another nurse someone else was left waiting. I told him that I knew he would do this for his mom if she needed, so in these moments he was my son helping me.

I’m telling you now. Our nurses go beyond anything we non-nurses realize. They face dying patients all the time. They face our fears and our triumphs with us, but duty dictates they keep it separate.

I was humbled. I appreciate this lesson I learned. While I am thrilled to take care of this bodily need on my own, I miss my nurses and PSWs. I miss telling them they’re doing good. Miss letting them know they are appreciated. Okay, maybe there’s a couple I don’t exactly miss, but they still did not shirk anything I needed.

I learned what my dad always said…make friends with the nurses because they are the ones watching over you.

Thank you to the nurses and PSWs of Juravinski Hospital, C4 and ICU to be exact.

Please follow and like us:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *